Before You
by Aleshka McPretl (‘24)

We met when we were very young, though we wouldn’t truly know each other until years after. I often think we needed those years for us to develop into the people we are today. Like caterpillars. Not quite to our true happiest selves yet, but on the journey there. We didn’t know that once things changed there would be no going back. No desire to go back. Back then I certainly couldn’t imagine that you would become the person who I would tell everything to; who I would laugh with countless times; who I’d share my hopes and dreams with; who I could depend on no matter what. 

 I remember the night I first got to know the real you. It was New Year’s Eve, and I was at your party. You asked me to stay the night, and I said yes. I had brought my camera, but even that couldn’t capture our newly made inside jokes, and the feeling of how right we were together. 

Before that night, all I saw was our differences, the images we projected on the outside, and because of them, I couldn’t see us ever being that close. As it turned out, our differences were what made us so good for eachother. You changed me, through our conversations, our moments in the pure joyful high of laughter; you helped me find my wings. 

My life before you was black and white, and you showed me how to see colors. From the fiercest red to the deepest hue of blue, they intoxicated me. For the first time in my life I was truly alive.  I wasn’t held back by the desire of academic perfection or by my shyness. I spoke my mind, and I didn’t care what people thought of me as long as I was happy. You showed me how to unlock the chains of my own creation that had been suffocating me for years.